1. GUBERNATORIAL CANDIDATES REPORT MILLIONS RAISED FOR CAMPAIGNS Never has so much been spent to lead a state that has so little to spend.
  2. SITE SANTA FE GRAND REOPENING PARTY SENDS SPOTLIGHTS INTO THE SKY We want to stand on the prow of that thing and shout, “I’m the king of the world!”
  3. McDONALD’S RELEASES SZECHUAN SAUCE FOR ONE-DAY STUNT Hey, Rick and Morty fans—you’re ruining everything for everyone.
  4. BALLOON FIESTA BRINGS TOURISTS TO SF FOR LAST HURRAH All towing giant balloon baskets because they’re afraid their stuff will get jacked in Burque.
  5. CITY RESOLUTION SAYS SANTA FE UNIVERSITY CAMPUS COULD BECOME HOUSING Finally, some Airbnb spots in Midtown.
  6. LANL SCIENTISTS SAY PROPOSED STATE SCIENCE STANDARDS SUCK What do scientists know about science, anyway? Let’s ask the oil guys …
  7. UNM PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES VISIT CAMPUS Everything’s fine! Just don’t go near the Athletic Department. Or the faculty senate.