1

ENROLLMENT DOWN AT NEW MEXICO UNIVERSITIES

It's almost like a lack of decent jobs and affordable places to live around here are bad things.

2

RECORD CROWDS REPORTEDLY ATTEND ZOZOBRA

And way to not murder anyone, everyone!

3

SPEAKING OF ZOZO, BBC USES OLD MAN GLOOM PHOTO FOR STORY ABOUT BURNING MAN DEATH

Not all flammable puppets are the same, BBC.

4

SANTA FE PUBLIC SCHOOL STUDENTS CAN CHOOSE TO SKIP FIESTAS ACTIVITIES

There. Fixed forever.

5

UNMANNED SPEED VANS ARE BACK

We’re basically living in Minority Report.

6

JOHN WATERS LOCKED DOWN FOR THIS YEAR'S SANTA FE INDEPENDENT FILM FESTIVAl

Cooler than the coolest drape—yes, that’s a Cry-Baby joke

7

DACA RESCINDED

FUCK.