1

SFPD WANTS TO SPEND $27K ON SEGWAY SCOOTERS

Apparently we've been taking them too seriously up until now.

2

SOUTHSIDE LIBRARY TURNS 10

No joke, we love libraries!

3

STATE INVESTS IN FERTILIZER COMPANY CALLED BAYOTECH

Is that like Baywatch in any way?

4

2,200 BICYCLISTS PEDAL 25-, 50- and 100-MILES IN SANTA FE CENTURY

And their butts are still sore today, we bet.

5

SANTA FE BAKING CO. TO RETURN AS NEW BAKING CO.

Thank. God.

6

JET ONCE OWNED BY ELVIS IS FOR SALE IN ROSWELL

Horrible drug addiction and catalog of songs stolen from black people not included.

7

SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER

When is that new Baywatch movie coming out?