1

ELIZABETH WARREN WAS WARNED. NEVERTHELESS, SHE PERSISTED

No further words needed.

2

PEOPLE ARE LOSING THEIR MINDS ABOUT THE SMALL WHOLE FOODS CLOSING

The other one is a block away. A block. And if that parking lot's annoyances are the biggest problems you've got, we'd consider your life charmed.

3

SFPS BOND ISSUE PASSES WITH RECORD VOTER TURNOUT

Thanks, Negative Unattributed Last-Minute Campaign Postcard Guys.

4

LYING KELLYANNE CONWAY PLUGS IVANKA TRUMP'S FAILING CLOTHING LINE DURING FAKE FOX NEWS BROADCAST

She's a bad hombress.

5

SEVERAL TEAM MEMBERS FROM SUPER BOWL-WINNING NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS WON'T VISIT THE WHITE HOUSE

When NFL players seem like the reasonable heroes, something is clearly amiss.

6

STATE GIVES UP GILA DATABASE AFTER CONGRESSMAN INTERVENES

Maybe next time they should follow the open-records law for Average Joe, too.?

7

ICE CANCELS MEETING WITH MEMBERS OF THE CONGRESSIONAL HISPANIC CAUCUS

Too busy with the crackdown?