1

TOM UDALL WON'T RUN FOR GOVERNOR in 2018

Too bad. But seriously, at this point we’d take Bernie from Weekend at Bernie’s or, like, a friendly dog wearing sunglasses.

2

CIA CONCLUDES RUSSIA INTERFERED IN ELECTION

"But is that, like, a really big deal?" asks most of America.

3

COUPLE ROBBED ON CANYON ROAD

And we don't mean by the galleries.

4

SANTA FE PUBLIC SCHOOLS VOTE TO BECOME SANCTUARY SCHOOL DISTRICT

Will the entire school board fly to NYC to be interviewed by Megyn Kelly?

5

SANTA FE OPERA'S COLD MOUNTAIN NOMINATED FOR GRAMMY AWARD

Which effectively says SFO is at least as good as Justin Bieber.

6

GUITAR WORLD MAGAZINE TO DROP BIKINI MODELS FROM ANNUAL GEAR GUIDE

Turns out women actually know how to play the guitar and do things besides wear bikinis.

7

MAYOR REMOVES DIET SODA FROM SUGAR TAX PROPOSAL

Because artificial sweeteners are perfectly healthy.