1

COUNTY GETS NEW VOTING MACHINES

Printers produce both ballots and Powerball tickets.

2

DUNKIN' DONUTS CLOSED FOR REMODEL

Keeping up with the Krispy Kreme Joneses.

3

CITY CONSIDERS SPEED-VAN REVIVAL

This could be the last chance for those school-zone drag races.

4

MAMA BEAR AND CUB TRANQUILIZED IN SF, SENT TO GILA

There goes our sanctuary city status.

5

NM WOMAN TESTED FOR EBOLA DOESN'T HAVE IT

Yet West Nile Virus is staging another comeback.

6

MAYOR ANNOUNCES TASK FORCES ON CHILDREN AND CLIMATE CHANGE

Also launches Kickstarter campaign for preschool and recycling.

7

FEDS WANT LANL TO MAKE NUCLEAR WEAPONS TRIGGERS

Because the lab did such a good job cleaning up last time.